quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize