she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
