In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
