I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize