'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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