so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
