why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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