i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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