The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
