it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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