we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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