Can i not drive my cunt home
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
