i just had sex bonerless
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
