I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
