the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
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It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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