You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
