so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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