Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
