It's like God shit irony all over that family
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
