You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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