He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
