the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
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I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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