Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
