Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
