she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
