Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
