What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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