meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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