Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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