Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
