I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
