He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them