ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
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Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
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only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.