She is in my trunk
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize