dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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