If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
