I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
