Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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