I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
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OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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