maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you traded sex for a burrito?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
