At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
