I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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