You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
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Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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