I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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