I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
