I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
