No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
