Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
