he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Of course I have a pirate flag
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
