Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
