I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
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I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
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I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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