i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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