It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize