If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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