Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
