I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
