thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
