'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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