Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
